For years, we’ve been asking our employers for "work-life balance." We look for it in benefit packages and flexible hours, treating it like a commodity they provide. But here is the hard truth: it is not our employer’s responsibility to balance your life. The first few sentences may make me a hit on LinkedIn with employers, but give me a minute to explain before you get upset with me. If you choose a career for the pay and benefits, that is a design choice. The responsibility for how you live outside those hours is an internal job. True balance is built through Life Design—a framework you create for yourself that ensures your work supports your life, rather than draining it.

The Onyx and Milk Framework

At Onyx and Milk, we believe life is supported by three core pillars. This is a circular system; like a wheel, if one section is ignored, the whole thing stops turning. To solve the problem of balance, you must design your "sub-pillars" intentionally.

Pillar 1: At Life (The Internal Self) - The internal engine. This pillar focuses on the architecture of the soul, the management of resources, and the intentional growth of the individual.

Balance starts with you. If you aren't right internally, no amount of vacation time will fix your burnout. This pillar is about your identity and personal growth.

• Self & Wellness: Designing routines for your physical and mental health.

• Creativity & Things Loved: Making space for the hobbies and passions that make you feel alive.

• A Higher Authority: Connecting to your core values and spiritual grounding.

Pillar 2: At Home (The Foundation) - The sanctuary. This pillar is dedicated to the physical environment—creating a foundation of peace and a curated space that restores your energy.

Your home is the "battery charger" for your professional life. If your environment is chaotic, your work will feel heavier.

• Home Design: Creating a space that reflects your peace and provides a sanctuary from the outside world.

Pillar 3: At a Table (The Connection) - The connection. This pillar represents the bridge between work and life, focusing on the ritual of nourishment and the art of intentional dining.

Balance is maintained through the nourishment of community and fuel.

• Food Stories & Recipes: Reclaiming the time to cook and eat intentionally, rather than rushing through "fueling" to get back to work.

• Relationships: Using the table as a place to reconnect with those who matter most.

How to Use This Framework

To design your balance, stop looking at "Work" and "Life" as two opposing forces. Instead, ask yourself: "How can I design these sub-pillars so they hold each other up?"

1. Audit Your Pillars: Look at the sub-pillars—Relationships, Wellness, Creativity. Which one is currently "flat"?

2. Define Your Non-Negotiables: If "At a Table" is your priority, your work design must allow you to be home for dinner. That is your boundary to set.

3. Own the Design: Your job provides the resources (Onyx); your life design provides the nourishment (Milk).

Here are my sub pillars, you can see a summary of each here :

1. SELF

2. PERSONAL GROWTH

3. APPEARANCE

4. CREATIVITY

5. ENTERTAINMENT

6. PLACES

7. RELATIONSHIPS

8. WELLNESS

9. PROVISIONS

10. A HIGHER AUTHORITY

11. HOME

12. LEGACY

Your life is made up of different aspects or as I call them pillars, these pillars keep your life up. If you would like to take The Life Design Audit, you can find it here.

Work-life balance isn't a perk—it’s a practice. When you take the responsibility away from the employer and put it into your own hands, you stop waiting for permission to live and start designing a life that works for you.

Your job provides the Provisions, but you provide the Legacy. You can start today designing a life that affords you happiness.

Work-Life Balance is Personal: Designing Your Own Equilibrium